You’ve been told to “be authentic.” You’ve been told to “be yourself.”
And then you were either
A) Told yourself needs to be more cohesive, communicating differently than what you thought was in your heart;
B) Given vague directions on how - if you received anything other than “just do it,” that is.
The result is you still feel Unheard. Unseen. Misunderstood. And more than a bit Trapped Inside Yourself.
The solution:
Speak from Your Heart.
I know, I know. You’ve heard this cliche about as often as the other two and you’re fighting the exasperated eye roll.
But this isn’t your Mama’s buzz phrase (though she might have inadvertently given you some useful clues as to how to actually apply it).
Speak from your heart instructions typically include things like:
Soften your voice and eyes
Practice reflective listening
Be confident
Be courageous
Focus on carefully formulating the words that will escape your face
Essentially, much of the same mental check marks around which “authentic” and “yourself” are leveled.
The problem:
Speaking from the heart isn’t a mindset issue.
And it has very little to do with what you say.
When you anchor heart-speak in the mind, you position yourself to fall in and out of this state, turning it on and off, situationally dependent.
Turn it on when speaking to your clients. Turn it off when speaking to your boss. Turn it on with your bestie. Turn it off with yourself. Turn it on for your partner. Turn it off for your kids. Then you feel bad about turning it off for your kids, and try to remember to keep it on with them. Then it falters with your partner and your parents, and all of a sudden you’re sharing waaayyy too much with your boss And now you’re exhausted, rolling around the vicious/viscous circle of feeling not God/good enough as you fail yet another spiritual practice. (You can tell how often I have been frustrated by this, right? 😂) We get tripped up because we treat heart-speaking as a metaphor. As a forspecial thing we can do. It is none of those things. Speaking from the heart is a state we embody. A thing we can be. An energetic signature. It is a body-based command that shapes how you say. It shapes your tone, frequency, and power. And it is accomplished by shifting energy, not mind sets. Focusing on the energetics of your voice simplifies the process of heart-speak. Instead of trying to do 19 different things simultaneously, they all happen naturally. No try. Do. Plus, you get to skip defining the “who you are” you’re supposed to authentically be. You will feel your breathing expand and deepen. You will feel your pelvic floor relax, Your spine will lengthen, Your shoulders will roll back And your chest will move forward.
You will even like the sound of your own voice - like a reverse Yzma 😄
Through these changes, you’re signaling to your neurophysiology that you are Safe Open Relaxed Worthy And if you’ve been anywhere in the health and wellness world for longer than .2 seconds, you’re aware of the insane benefits of better posture, better breathing, and decreased stress. All of this results in an amplification of not just your communication (verbal, non-verbal, and even written), but Your presence. You become truly Heart-Centered. The challenge: It is uncomfortable as fuck. Implementing this shift in my own life I’ve experienced heart palpitations, shortness of breath, dizziness, sore throat and an acute sense of intense vulnerability. Ultimately, these symptoms and their duration were fascinating indicators of exactly how attached I was to being small. But stick through the yuck as your body adapts to the new energy flow, And on the other side is unconscious competence - A natural, effortless embodiment of Heart-centered Heart-speak. What do you feel when you speak from the heart?
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