If you’ve listened to all of the advice to “listen to your heart” and feel like you’re left even more confused and anxious than before you started, or if the thought of hearing one more ad call out for “heart-centered” entrepreneurs/massage therapists/yoga practitioners/etc. makes you roll your eyes (or want to gag a little bit)
Then it is highly likely that you are not Heart Centered.
Magically/energetically, it makes sense that we would be told to follow our hearts. That our hearts house our true desires and the resources for manifesting them in the world. The heart chakra is where our upper and lower chakras meet so for a majority of people it is accurate to say that their most authentic self emanates from their heart.
However, just like no one’s physical anatomy looks exactly alike, no one's energetic anatomy is identical. And similarly to how only 25% (ish) of people look like an anatomical model with the rest having some meaningful variation[s], a statistical majority of people are organized around their hearts with others’ primary center lying elsewhere.
The singularity of a person’s individual torus can be rooted in any of the major energy centers. (Probably, in some rare instances, in any of the minor ones as well, but I have not worked with any of those people as of yet so I do not know for sure.) If you’re into Human Design, think Authorities. (I know next to nothing about HD, so please don’t ask me about it, but I do have a great referral if you are interested.)
Using myself as an example: I am not heart centered. At all. If I operate by listening to my heart, my behavior turns borderline schizophrenic/bipolar and I devolve into an anxious mess. Seriously, listening to my heart has encouraged me to partake in some mild forms of stalking (which I am more than a little humiliated to say out loud, but I do so to drive the point home). This is clearly not the place from which I make my best decisions. It is not the place from which I connect to my highest good.
My highest good is accessed through my pelvis. My heart holds every emotion I could ever possibly feel about a situation, every emotion I have ever felt about any situation, and every emotion I ever possibly could feel about anything ever. All at once. Without the orientation of my root chakra, my brain (understandably) interprets my heart’s input as confusion and anxiety.
I’ve instinctively known this for most of my life, but have only in the last year and a half or so had the conscious awareness and the words to articulate it. And because so much of the consciousness culture is “heart center” centered, most of the people I’ve met who have their centers centered otherwhere tend to express a struggle with making decisions, feeling like themselves, being embodied, feeling grounded, connecting with others and otherwise engaging with life - even though they’ve been doing their darndest to heal trauma and hear to their higher selves.
When we try to connect with the world from a center that is off center, it feels like something is wrong with us and we have difficulty accepting ourselves for who we are. (Yes, there are other imbalances and compensations and traumas that can contribute to these feelings as well - and working with this one creates a really solid base to address those others.)
So if you’ve been struggling with any of the above, here’s your sign to start listening to other parts of you. Start noticing/remembering where the energy feels most steady, where your intuition sits when you feel most solid and assured.
This takes practice. Very often it requires learning your bodymind’s language, or diving deeper into your personal dialect if you are already familiar with how your body speaks to you. Understanding this language without all of the societal noise or outdated stories we associate with our various sensations is a major element of working 1 on 1 with me, so if you’d like some support in that direction, book your Initial Bodymind Inquiry here.
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